It’s been a while since I have written. I have been through a series of tragic events over the past 6-8 weeks. It has all thrown me off my game and I haven’t known what to write about first, if at all. 

On October 17th, my grandmother passed away. She was very dear to me and there was always something special between us.  I was born on her 50th birthday, which I now believe is no coincidence.  About 6 weeks prior, my dad called me to tell me that she was being put on hospice care, but the doctor said she has about 6 months left, so not to feel rushed to go see her. I immediately felt a rush to go see her, but I wasn’t sure why. I live 3 1/2 hours away from where she is, or I would have went as soon as I hung up. This feeling of going to see her, NOW, wouldn’t go away.  So, I packed up and drove to see her as soon as the weekend arrived. I intended to spend all day Saturday with her.  I was being told what she needed and things to say to her for comfort. When I arrived she was asleep. I was told to hold her like a child. That she needed to be held. I looked around, climbed in her bed, and held her like a child. I began to pray with her and tell her what she needed to hear to let go. She was a saint and she was done fighting and being strong. It was time to let go. Go and smile, feel free and allow your soul to rest. At that moment, I saw an outline of people waiting for her and two of them stepped forward and wanted me to tell her they were waiting for her. One was her sister in law, Albina and the other was a young girl in a dress, who said she was her twin sister. Her twin sister?  Before I relayed the message to my grandmother, I wanted to confirm my reading. I stepped outside and called my parents. They were not aware of a twin sister, but it seemed familiar to me. I relayed the messages to my grandmother hoping it would give her peace. 

Six weeks later, she passed away. It was the most beautiful day and service. I usually tune out to a certain degree at funerals because I just can’t deal. This funeral was different. It was too close to home. It was my “gramma”.  I walked up to her casket. I grabbed her hand and immediately felt all the pain she had suffered throughout her life. It was overwhelming. I knelt and prayed, still holding her hand. I then realized how important a funeral is. It’s closure for the ones left here on earth. During her service, Father John mentions her twin sister, Alice. I looked at my mother. She said, “I forgot to tell you, we found out she had a twin sister who died at age 6.”  When the service was over, my grandmother’s sister-in-law’s daughter came up to us and said “I know they are just gabbing away right now, smiling, and catching up”.  I so badly wanted to tell her she was right. 

After the funeral I began to celebrate her life, as I truly believe Hell is here on earth. She is so lucky and there’s a part of me who wishes I was going with her. I begged my gramma to be my guide after she passed, to help me be a better person. Like she was. To show me through butterflies that she is with me. There have been several dark days since she has passed. I speak to her all of the time and there have been many butterflies that come right up to me, fly close to my face and hover, before flying away. I can’t help but think that is her. I know it is. 
Please remember that after a loved one passes, they are still with you. They will leave signs, which most people don’t even notice. You can still talk to them and they can still hear you.